Matt Hancock: Trading Politics for Pig’s Anus
November sucks. It is, to the year, what Thursday is to the week. Friday promises joy, relaxation, and respite after a tiresome week. Likewise, December marks the start of advent; 24 days of excitement in the leadup to Christmas. The city is lit up, Christmas trees adorn each store window, and, as each day passes, we are closer to being able to set down our laptops and finally relax as the year comes to an end. And yet we have 30 miserable days to endure prior to reaching this magical time of year. The days are long, cold and rainy – but there is one upshot to November. November promises the return of my all-time favourite reality show – I’m a Celebrity: Get Me Out of Here.
In case you are unaware of the premise of the show, 12 celebrities enter the jungle in Australia and are ‘forced’ to complete challenges, referred to as Bushtucker Trials, in order to win meals for their fellow campmates. The show is significantly more stripped back than other popular reality shows; contestants do not wear makeup or their own clothes, and we are able to see how the celebrities act when they are hungry, tired and fearful.
A few days ago, possibly the worst kept secret twist on reality television was revealed. Former Health Secretary and Conservative MP Matt Hancock entered the jungle as a late arrival. Naturally, the British public has voted for him to carry out every trial since his arrival.
Matt’s arrival in the jungle has garnered very mixed reviews. Many view him as comical, and applaud his candour as he spoke out about his regrets as Health Secretary. Others are able to see through his (as put so eloquently by former rugby player and royal husband Mike Tindall) ‘bullshit, bullshit, bullshit’. Clearly, I fall into the latter group of people.
When questioned on his affair with his aide Gina Colangelo by his fellow campmates, Matt quickly jumped to his own defence, stating that he ‘made a mistake’ and that he did not break his own COVID restrictions, as he provided ‘guidance’, rather than concrete rules. This triggered a memory of my first year at university in 2020. I was outside my accommodation block and I saw two girls collect a pizza from their Deliveroo driver. As they re-entered the accommodation, a campus security worker questioned where they were going. As it turned out, these girls were not from the same flat, and they promptly had their names taken down in order to be fined. For sharing a pizza. Matt Hancock, on the other hand, was sharing saliva. And yet, Twitter users blasted the app with statements of how they felt sorry for Matt, and that he’s only human. Of course, Matt is only human. But he’s a human that took no issue with fining 18-year-olds hundreds, if not thousands, for making the same ‘mistakes’ that he made in his 40’s.
The campmates also questioned Matt’s reasoning for entering the jungle. Matt stated that he believed current PM Rishi Sunak is doing a great job on his own, and thus he decided to go on the show so people could see the ‘real him’. This would appear logical, apart from the fact it is completely false. Sunak has been PM for less than a month, and as the celebrities have to face a quarantine period prior to entering the jungle, it doesn’t seem that Matt made his decision to enter the jungle when Sunak was in power. Even if it were the case that Matt decided to enter the jungle when Sunak was PM, I am still dubious as to whether Sunak is actually doing a good job. Our economy is tanking yet again, and this winter millions across the UK will have to make the choice between eating or heating[1]. We have just left the reign of the least popular UK Prime Minister in the history of polling. If the Conservative party wants to regain our trust, it may be better for them to implement further policy protecting the UK’s most vulnerable this winter, rather than sending their MPs into the jungle. Just a thought.
I think it should be clear that there is one sole factor that drove Matt Hancock into the jungle. Matt’s salary has recently dropped, since he resigned his cabinet position, to a measly £84,144 p.a.[2], just under three times the median average salary for full-time workers in the UK[3]. Poor guy. His stint on I’m a Celeb, however, is rumoured to pay £400,000 for around three weeks of work. That is, if he endures the duration of the show. Oh, and he still gets paid as an MP whilst he’s in the jungle. Maybe we should take this time to re-evaluate if Sunak is doing such a ‘good job’, considering our taxpayer money is going towards funding a man’s reality TV career rather than, I don’t know, affordable housing and heating?
Matt will continue to be voted by the public for trials, and I will continue to tune into the ITV hub every day to watch. In the cold, miserable month of November, it feels comforting to see one of my least favourite MPs even more cold and even more miserable. This may sound sadistic, but arguably his decisions as Health Secretary were even more so. It is, however, imperative that the British public remember that Matt’s intentions on the show are purely narcissistic. I’m a Celeb is purely a vessel for Matt’s mission to make money and save face.
[1] Fox, K. (2022) 'Starve or freeze to death': Millions of elderly Brits fear a grim choice this winter as costs spiral | CNN business, CNN. Cable News Network. Available at: https://edition.cnn.com/2022/08/31/business/uk-cost-of-living-crisis-elderly-tory-leadership-intl-gbr-cmd/index.html
[2] Pay and expenses for mps - UK Parliament. Available at: https://www.parliament.uk/about/mps-and-lords/members/pay-mps/
[3] What is the average salary in the UK?: Average salary map IFA, Mortgages & Investments in Tunbridge Wells, Kent & East Sussex, Sevenoaks, Tonbridge, Eastbourne & Uckfield. Available at: https://www.avtrinity.com/uk-average-salary